Letter of Love

Dear Rian,

You turned 6 today! That is very hard for mommy to believe. It seems like just yesterday daddy was driving like a crazy person through Denver to get us to a hospital so you could be delivered. And then you came out with fluid in your lungs and we had to spend that stressful week in the hospital leading up to Thanksgiving. I remember sitting in the nursery watching you sleep in the incubator wanting to cry all the time because they couldn't find good veins (just like your mom in that) to draw blood and you had been stuck over and over. And here we are, 6 years later celebrating your birthday in Niger, Africa. Who would have thought?!

I am so proud of the young lady you are becoming. You have a genuine heart that cares about others and wants to do good. You love God and his creations. You are my first born and my only daughter. I love you more than life itself. I know at times I can be hard on you, when you don't obey, or talk back, or act like a baby, but it is simply because I am scared that I am not doing a good enough job as your mother, to prepare you for the life to come. I want you to be a strong, independent yet not too much that you don't accept help from others when needed, well rounded, intelligent woman of God.

When I first heard the name Rian for a girl I thought if I ever have a girl, thats what I want her name to be. And here you are, turning 6! You have been so brave, moving to a completely different place than you are used to. You started school in the middle of the year with kids you knew nothing about and now have great friends. You accepted the fact that mom and dad had to go to class in the evenings and you had to stay with Biba, helping your brother with the adjustment as well. I can only hope that this "african experience" will provide you with wonderful memories and a recognition and acceptance of those different from you. And a desire to know more than what your own small world encompasses. I may never know how this life altering change affects you but pray that it is for the better.

Rian, you are like me in many ways but I hope that you nurture the good traits and let the bad ones fall away. I do not know what the world will be like when you are older but I pray that wherever you may be, that space will be better because of your presence and that those you are in contact with will be blessed for knowing you. May your life be filled with compassion, humility, forgiveness, perseverance, gratitude, faith, honesty, generosity, respect, courage, discipline, virtue and patience.

I love you baby, today and always. And to quote one of our favorite books, "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as you're living my baby you'll be."

With love,

mommy