Sacrifice and Love

we have been in africa now 1 month and 2 days and over this time i have thought frequently about the sacrifices my husband and children have made to come here. as a mother i think you are keenly aware of the issues your family is dealing with. plus i am hypersensitive as i know i am the one to "blame" if things get ugly. not to say anyone has blamed me, yet... right husband? lets consider him first.

Sacrifices for husband:

1. no tv, well we have one but no live tv

2. which means no sports

3. no mlb, nba, nfl and any other "american" sports games to attend

4. no pho restaurants

5. no movie theaters

6. beverages are at a minimum

7. no FCC

8. no guys night out, which rarely happened anyway, but still

9. no road biking, which rarely happened anyway, but still :)

10. communication = learning french

suffice it to say there are lots of things i know he misses. this is most often noticed when i wake up at midnight and see him hunched over the computer trying desperately to download a sports game, hoping with just his sheer willpower it will happen but a las only getting spurts here and there and not even the highlights.

Sacrifices for children:

1. taking malaria meds every week

2. taking vitamins everyday, since their diet is no where near balanced

3. nothing familiar

4. constant staring from locals

5. friends and family left behind

6. not being able to drink water out of the tap

7. legs that resemble a war zone with all the mosquito bites

8. heat

9. missing holidays

10. few favorite foods

i also know that they are missing things and it is not easy. however, i hope that with time my husband and children will come to love africa like i do. this does not mean that i have not sacrificed, believe me i feel my own pain :) but i do have this deep, unexplainable love for this place. it is very hard to pinpoint but i feel it acutely when i am out in the midst of the mayhem. this also doesn't mean that i am not bothered by the poverty, smells, language, cultural differences, dirtiness, heat, all the things that are so apparent to most foreigners. But, i love it. i have felt something draw me in each time i have visited africa in the past and now that i am calling niger my home, at least temporarily, i feel it even stronger. when we are riding the moto to class or walking about the crowded market or trying to communicate with our helpers i feel immense peace and love. with that comes frustration and helplessness and anger at times but when don't those feelings accompany love? maybe i am asking too much of my family, to love this place but i hope there will be no regrets.